German toilets are just plain wrong


C’mon Germany. Get it together.

I try not to let this blog descend into a cavalcade of cheap jokes about how Europe is not like America*. We’re better than that, you and I. There is no need to gawk and point and bray at the supposed backwardness of our neighbors**. We are cosmopolitan citizens of the world, empowered by our diversity*** and unashamed to celebrate our differences.

Except that this German toilet is literally backwards.

Instead of putting the water that the back, the way the Founding Plumbers intended, it’s at the front. In the back there’s just a shallow depression — a shelf, if you will, on which to display … things.

I’m going to pause here and let you ponder the implications of that design choice.

Gross, right?

I’d been warned that some toilets on the content were like this, but I still wasn’t prepared when I finally saw one in our hotel room in Berlin. Most of the other places we went in the city had non-backwards toilets, however, so maybe the tide is turning in favor of less, um, “intimate” plumbing designs. Sometimes the key to tolerance is giving everyone enough time to become just like you.

* Though I think all reasonable people can agree that running electrical appliances at 220 volts/50 hertz is utter nonsense, conceived by madmen and enjoyed by fools.
** Unless we’re talking about people who insist on spelling theater as “theatre”. Those people deserve whatever they get.
*** Even if driving on the left hand side of the road is deeply, morally wrong and should be corrected.

About Jesse Stanchak

Just another American ex-pat living in up in England. During the week I edit a social media newsletter, but on the weekends I travel around the U.K. and continental Europe having adventures with my darling wife. I'm also a runner, an animal lover and an aspiring professional fat kid.
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2 Responses to German toilets are just plain wrong

  1. ….just…don’t travel in france. their version of rest stop toilets are LITERALLY holes in the ground.

  2. Pingback: Toilet Trouble «

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